Embarrassment
Article by: Simone Moland
While in the women’s Bible group at my church, I greeted one of the ladies I hadn’t seen in a few months. As we embraced, I commented on how wonderful she looked; and then, asked, “When is the baby due?” I wanted to crawl under a rock when she replied with a very hurt look on her face. “I’m not pregnant.”
My face burned from embarrassment. I apologized profusely over my mistake, but it wasn’t enough to take away the distress I felt. Somehow, I had to learn to understand embarrassment so when the time came for my daughters to hit that same road, I’d be an old pro and could impart that wisdom to them.
Think back to the very first time you experienced the feeling of embarrassment. Was it when you put your shirt on backwards and walked into class, unknowingly? Or, started coughing during a math test and tooted instead? I don’t know too many people that mind talking about something that they really wish they could forget. But, there’s strength to be gained, so instead of wanting to crawl under a rock, we have to find a way to climb over it.
A few years ago, my daughter came home from school in tears. According to her, she had had the most embarrassing day of her life. While walking to school, she stepped in gum and then onto the freshly mowed grass. By the time she got into class, she was wearing what appeared to be a fuzzy green house shoe. “Everyone laughed at me, even the teacher,” she cried. As I sat listening to her anguish, I decided to put what I knew into action.
* Embarrassment is an emotion that exists only within the presence of others. I can’t imagine wearing mismatched socks at home and feeling embarrassed. It wouldn’t matter if the socks were checkered or striped; I’m at home and not out where others can view my artistic flair. So, even though embarrassment is a public display, lighten up and realize that what seems horrendous today will be forgotten tomorrow.
* Face the embarrassment by acknowledging it right then and there. Don’t run from it, run to it. Take the furry green grassy shoe for instance. Looking at it from a comical view, the grassy shoe really wasn’t harmful at all. It was funny! It was my daughter’s reaction to it that caused it to become an embarrassment for her. Had she laughed right along with the other kids, the pain would’ve slowly diminished and in its place, a humorous start to maybe an otherwise boring day.
* Embarrassment happens without any warning signs. In other words, don’t worry yourself sick wondering when the next embarrassment will occur because it may never happen. Instead of your child worrying about getting hiccups while doing an oral report, boost the confidence levels so that just in case something embarrassing does occur, there’s no reason to run for the rock.
Dealing with Embarrassment
* Create a journal of all the embarrassing moments. Read through them and reflect on how each one of them turned out. Children can do this too. Read journal entries together and celebrate the success of getting through it.
* Play the embarrassment game. Give an embarrassing scenario with a group of friends. Throw out ideas of handling the moment. Vote for the best one. Guaranteed, there will be plenty of laughs while playing.
* Give yourself a three embarrassment limit per each day. If you exceed the number then reflect on how your day is going and what you can do to make it different.
